sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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