Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
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