I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize