I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize