some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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