There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
