i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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