How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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