Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
