Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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