forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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