I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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