I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
