I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Even my vagina gasped.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
