Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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