It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
