Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
