FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
