He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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