on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
