so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
the day after is always just damage control
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize