Your mouth is God's brothel.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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