never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
