Just cropdusted the office
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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