A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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