I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
