Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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