giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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