It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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