We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow