I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She even gives head with a lisp.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.