Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station. (1-603): The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS. http://tfl.nu/opvz
  Replies (24) Good night (7173) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them. http://tfl.nu/lm0t
  Replies (38) Good night (6754) Bad night (1854)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I bet i've been more pregnant than you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): I bet i've been more pregnant than you. http://tfl.nu/0mti
  Replies (16) Good night (696) Bad night (4325)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name. http://tfl.nu/pkap
  Replies (6) Good night (3648) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture http://tfl.nu/edj0
  Replies (25) Good night (667) Bad night (7586)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me." http://tfl.nu/89qv
  Replies (14) Good night (1834) Bad night (4882)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  the only muscles i have these days is kegels

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): the only muscles i have these days is kegels http://tfl.nu/1pmr
  Replies (13) Good night (4005) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi. http://tfl.nu/64lh
  Replies (10) Good night (3914) Bad night (1229)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree? http://tfl.nu/z9hw
  Replies (11) Good night (3483) Bad night (1150)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY http://tfl.nu/9dad
  Replies (3) Good night (2561) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences http://tfl.nu/lf6j
  Replies (2) Good night (581) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name. http://tfl.nu/z35x
  Replies (12) Good night (2767) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online. (810): Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible http://tfl.nu/lrjw
  Replies (1) Good night (981) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid! http://tfl.nu/3alp
  Replies (4) Good night (470) Bad night (1649)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it. http://tfl.nu/wzpk
  Replies (5) Good night (566) Bad night (293)

Randomize