He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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