I love black thongs
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?