Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo

  (619): View more from California

  Cremation, why do you ask?

  (760): View more from California

  I think we have a bit of a problem

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  (760): What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo (619): Cremation, why do you ask? (760): I think we have a bit of a problem http://tfl.nu/6d26
  Replies (15) Good night (1182) Bad night (1638)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys

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  (917): you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys http://tfl.nu/x3sf
  Replies (17) Good night (3435) Bad night (1185)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.

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  (803): I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again. http://tfl.nu/aquc
  Replies (14) Good night (948) Bad night (4203)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar

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  (215): you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar http://tfl.nu/veyr
  Replies (6) Good night (623) Bad night (3538)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  im bored tell me something entertaining

  (206): View more from Washington

  You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.

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  (425): im bored tell me something entertaining (206): You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam. http://tfl.nu/m0ao
  Replies (48) Good night (1668) Bad night (9834)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.

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  (416): Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck. http://tfl.nu/lba2
  Replies (16) Good night (7372) Bad night (1202)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Vodka is such a love hate relationship.

  (661): View more from California

  Truer words have never been spoken.

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  (260): Vodka is such a love hate relationship. (661): Truer words have never been spoken. http://tfl.nu/p042
  Replies (21) Good night (5365) Bad night (1228)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'

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  (918): I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.' http://tfl.nu/i088
  Replies (8) Good night (3073) Bad night (1029)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'

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  (306): I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes' http://tfl.nu/oxkp
  Replies (9) Good night (7870) Bad night (1113)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.

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  (+44): i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit. http://tfl.nu/4l0m
  Replies (5) Good night (2036) Bad night (944)
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  (925): View more from California

  He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.

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  (925): He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle. http://tfl.nu/x2qg
  Replies (11) Good night (1638) Bad night (2110)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.

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  (519): There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause. http://tfl.nu/1uor
  Replies (0) Good night (653) Bad night (703)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.

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  (425): I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me. http://tfl.nu/51kh
  Replies (21) Good night (694) Bad night (2765)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.

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  (720): Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going. http://tfl.nu/q6rk
  Replies (3) Good night (892) Bad night (409)
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  (562): View more from California

  We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.

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  (562): We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt. http://tfl.nu/27nr
  Replies (2) Good night (645) Bad night (290)

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