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Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
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