it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
