this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
