Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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