The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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