Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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