Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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