Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
