yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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