thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
