is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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