Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
