Pappa wants mamma naked
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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