So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
