u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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