wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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