In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
