R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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