question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
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