It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Two words: nipple clamps
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