you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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