I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You don't make any sense
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