giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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