we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
