i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
