You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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