who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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