Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
