this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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