she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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