He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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