i jhust puked up my retainher.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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